2012 In Review

This has been another of those years that I’m not sad to see go. A lot has happened in our little corner of the world, both good and bad. As midnight fast approaches, I’m taking a minute to reflect and let go of the bad, embrace the good and prepare for what’s coming next.

January brought an extended vacation for MiniMe due to snow and ice-covered roads. While I love my children, I am incredibly thankful for the teachers that work so hard to help them learn the things that will help them become the amazing adults they will become. That and the 6 hours of peace I get Monday through Friday!

February brought chocolates and flowers and tears and heartache. I lost my job and things were tight for a little while but we pulled through and made it.

March brought a new job through a temp agency in a field I had never considered. It brought an opportunity to learn a whole new field while still using some of the things I actually learned in college. It also ment a Monday-Friday job with reasonable hours!

April was a time for a lot of reflection over the relationships we had thought were good and true but weren’t all that they seemed.

May and June brought the end of some relationships and the difficult steps of trying to rebuild and move forward. June brought the start of our 12th year of Horse Camp and guaranteed a summer of strengthening families and making new friendships.

July ment packing up and moving out of our home because of someone elses irresponsibility. It brought fear of the unknown and less than bright prospects for the future.

August brought devastation that almost took the life of someone I love more than my own life. It brought fear and anger and lots of questions with no answers. It made me realize what an amazing family I have and how much they have been there for us. It brought a chance to return to a job doing something I loved at a place I respected. It also ment working 2 part-time jobs, working 50 hours/6 days a week.

In September things started to turn around for us. I was offered a permanent position rather than continuing to be a temp. I was given more responsibilities and more opportunities to learn and grow.

October found us moving my mom into a nursing home with my step-dad. A hard step but a necessary one.

November brought word of a new home and our return to the town that I love.

December 1st brought us into our new home. It brought the end of my working relationship at that second job. I wish them success, but I won’t go back a third time. It brought a quiet Christmas at home with the girls and dinner at our new place.

Tonight will likely be a quiet evening spent watching movies and eating the last of the Brandy Beans.

Happy New Year everyone!

Happy Birthday Beauty!

Dear Beauty,
Today you are 19 years old. Holy Hannah how did that happen? Just yesterday you were a tiny baby looking up at me with bright blue eyes so full of wonder. When I found out I was pregnant with you I was so very excited. I knew my life was about to change and I couldn’t wait! When you were born and the doctor laid you on my tummy, you were all pink and wrinkly, and perfect. I can’t even begin to imagine what my life would have been like without you in it. From the time you were born you gave me a purpose. You made me want to be better. It was always you and I, even from the beginning. Raising you and your sister by myself has been one of the hardest, most rewarding jobs I’ve ever had. When your sister was born you were the best helper any mom could ever have. She was your very own little dolly you could help feed and dress and bathe. You were so proud to be the big sister! Then she started getting into your stuff and the honeymoon period was over.

When I watched you fall from the horse and almost get stepped on, it was one of the scariest moments of my life. But you actually did “tuck and roll” that time and came out of it with a trip to the ER only to stitch up a nasty gash on your leg. You were a trooper tho and the next day insisted on hiking around a park on crutches with your class field trip.

When you got to accepted to be a part of the Missoula Children’s Theatre plays 5 years running, I thought I couldn’t be more proud. I was wrong. You topped it of by auditioning and getting accepted to go to acting camp! From the time you were little you have had the coolest sense of humor of anyone I’ve ever met. You have always had a way of making people forget about their sadness, if only for a moment of gut-busting laughter. I love that about you!

Then you hit high school and the world pretty much fell apart. Watching you struggle these last few years has been so hard for me. I want to just pull you close and make all the bad stuff go away. But you are an adult now and I just have to trust that all the things I’ve tried to teach you over the years stuck somewhere and you will get through all of this. I love you more than you can possibly imagine. You are my firstborn and there is no one on this earth who can replace you. I’m proud to be your mom. I love you baby girl.

Happy Birthday!
Love,
Mom

The real world

My heart hurts. My eyes are swollen from crying. My nose is red and stuffy.

All of that doesn’t even matter really because my children are safe. They are alive! They didn’t witness what 600 children under the age of 10 did today.

All the worries I had when I woke up this morning are nothing compared to what those families are dealing with today.

My thoughts, prayers and tears are with the loved ones of all who died in Connecticut today.

Many thanks to Jen at Cakewrecks for her beautiful tribute post.

13 years ago today

Yep, 13 years ago today I gave birth to a beautiful 7 lb 15.5 oz, 19-inch long baby girl. I didn’t have a clue how much our lives would change. Beauty was almost 6 when her baby sister was born. She asked Santa for a puppy and got a sister instead. That was the last time she ever asked for a pet for Christmas.

Raising MiniMe has been an adventure from the very start. I almost died when she was born. Literally. Thankfully I was at the hospital and through the miracles of modern medicine and some pretty amazing nurses and doctors, I’m here today.

Without further ado, here is my letter

Baby girl~

I can’t believe you are 13 today! When you were born, I knew that something big was about to happen, I just didn’t know what. In the last 13 years you have brought me joy and laughter, tears and frustration, but most of all, you have brought me love. You have, at times, made me question my sanity. You have an amazing heart for the people around you. When you were little you would greet everyone you met with big smiles and bright eyes. You still have that gift and make friends easily. You are a great helper, as long as you’re not left to do it all on your own. You recently joined the school choir and I’m so proud of you for taking a chance. We recently moved and you are so happy to have your own space again. I’m proud of you for all of your hard work and determination to get everything just how you want it. Sometimes you make me crazy but at then end of the day when you give me a hug and tell me you love me, everything is right in the world.

I love you baby girl!